Beautiful life.

So, I really, really have to do the dishes. They are epic in scope. Unfortunately, I also have actual peace and quiet in my house for the first time in a month, so I need to take advantage of that as well. I’ll hurry, say my piece, and then start on that mountain of dishes in my sink.

This is an heartrendingly beautiful testimonial from the Daily Mail, my guilty reading pleasure. Some may argue that what this woman did was selfish or stupid, but all her child knew was real, honest love in his short time on this earth. It’s quite overwhelming to think of, really — all Lucian knew was love. Can you imagine a life in which all you knew was love? She played the hand she was dealt and loved her child. Love is not always fair or fun or easy, at least real love isn’t. I will never recover from loving and losing my first child before she was three. Real love annihilates, becomes something more than emotion, and while it elevates, it also exposes you to the worst of all terrors: loss.

Lucian could have died at anytime in my womb but he held on long enough for us to meet properly.

‘My son looked utterly perfect.

‘The love and joy I felt the moment they put Lucian in my arms told me it had all been worth it.’

I love the idea that he waited to be born so he could meet her. It’s sweet. Her life is forever changed by someone who had no idea he was changing it. But isn’t that the beauty of children? Children demand nothing but real, unguarded, uncomplicated love from someone they already love more than anything in the world. They’re terrifying, children are, but they’re worth it. Even when the worst possible scenario is realized, and you end up sitting in a house that has ceased to be a home and is altogether too quiet, it is worth it.

It is always worth it.